You may find yourself afraid to talk dirty during sex or foreplay. You may be reading the stories with dirty-talking wives in them and yearning to spice up your marriage in a similar way, but either you fear you’ll completely embarrass yourself or you have no idea what to say. Well, I decided to reach out to you tongue-tied ladies and give you some sex tip secrets that worked for me in learning this skill. Although this is directed toward wives I think husbands could also benefit from reading this list. Talk dirty effectively and with ease by applying these 9 dirty talk principles:
1. Don’t force or overdo it while talking dirty
I remember the first time I purposefully talked dirty. I was doing cowgirl and I figured I would give it a go as I felt in control of the situation and wanted to do something ballsy (pardon the pun). My first attempt was a laughable failure. One of the reasons I wasn’t very good was because I was trying too hard. Another reason I wasn’t very good was because I over did it. My dirty talk was wordy and forced. Bad combo. Thankfully my guy is a gentleman and told me to “shut up” in the sexiest way possible.
Afterward we laughed about my dramatized and mouthy exposition that only distracted from the sex going on rather than enhanced it.
2. Asking for what you want is a great start toward talking dirty
I was talking dirty even before I’d made a faux pas attempt. I learned my husband loved it when I pleaded him, “Don’t stop! Don’t stop!” when he was getting me close to orgasm. Those pleas were a part of my first dirty talk usage. Dirty talk doesn’t have to be extravagant or dramatic. It can be as simple as telling your partner how good what they are doing feels to you. Telling your partner what feels good is one of the first steps toward talking dirty. A guy loves to hear his woman give him advice without it feeling like advice: “touch my nipples… oh, yeah… now suck my tits, baby… oh, yes!” In doing so you will reap the reward of increasing your own pleasure and sounding like a sex goddess who knows how to talk dirty the way your husband likes it.
3. Dirty talk should feel mood appropriate
If you are making slow and romantic love by candle-light and start saying stuff like “yeah, pound my pussy, dirty boy! Oh… you’re such an animal!” it most certainly will sound and feel out of place, but if you are getting humped from behind doggy style those same words would only enhance your session. Keep in mind of your sexual position and mood while talking dirty.
4. Puff up his ego
I guarantee you telling your man how in awe you are of his masculinity most definitely counts as dirty talk. How turned on do you feel when your husband tells you how smoking hot you look? In the same way telling your man he’s the king of your heart will get his sexual motor running. Things like, “Oh, you feel so big inside me” during sex or “You taste amazing” after perhaps licking some sweat off of his pecs or giving him oral will not only come naturally and go with the mood, but will make your man feel like he’s on cloud nine. Even saying something as simple as, “you’re so hot, baby” will count toward the age-old goal.
5. Puff up your ego
I give this tip after the previous as it is important you feel hot while with your guy and what better way to show him how confident and hot you are than to speak of yourself highly. Don’t worry about sounding like you have a big head, if anyone can put up with you sounding like you have a big head it’s your significant other! Talk about your favorite body parts and praise them. An example of that would be, “My breasts are so soft” while you’re feeling yourself up in front of him or “I’m so tight” while you have your fingers in your vagina. Tell him about how feminine you are. Remind him how hot you feel and look. Make him jealous of your hands on your breasts or your fingers inside your vagina.
6. Get Graphic
This tip I give keeping in mind tip #1. Getting graphic can become overdramatized quickly, but if combined with the five other tips it can be a potent weapon in your arsenal of hotness. I’m not saying you have to use the f-word and c-word when I tell you to get graphic (although if you are comfortable using them and do not see them as demeaning by all means add them to your repertoire) what I’m saying is figure out what your husband finds the most arousing while talking graphic. So if your guy likes you to refer to his penis as a cock or dick, do it! Have a discussion with him about what words he thinks are hot and what words he may be turned off by. Use words you find alluring as well. Don’t forget as I learned in my first attempt, sometime less is more, but if you can get away with going all out, more power to you!
7. The big tease hook
This is a big part of talking dirty during foreplay. Foreplay is all about the tease. A little kiss there, a little touch here, and a few key seductive words go a long way into getting into your husband’s head. Think of talking dirty like a sales hook for what is to “come” in the bedroom. If you’re in the mood for giving a blowjob whispering in his ear something like, “I’m going to suck you dry” while rubbing his crotch is quite titillating. Giving yourself a bit of a mystique is also attractive and a great tease hook. Hide a small gift for him (such as movie tickets) in an unconventional place like your panty or bra and tell him you have a gift for him, when he asks what, tell him he needs to strip search you for it. He’ll think you’re just leading him to your pussy as his “gift” when in reality you truly are about to gift him and give him pussy.
8. Use unconventional dirty talk
I told you getting graphic can make things hot, but getting graphic isn’t a requirement. Remember how I spoke of how I’d tell my guy, “don’t stop!” or how my husband told me to “shut up” when I was overdoing it and somehow that turned me on? Dirty talk is anything that turns you and your partner on. As simple as telling your guy to undress himself sounds, it can be a total turn on if your husband like’s getting ordered around by you when you’re having sex. Know your husband, know yourself, and if it works for you or your partner as a turn on by all means, say it!
9. Laugh, Learn, Listen, Love…
Sex is about having fun with your spouse and dirty talk is a part of that. It isn’t about getting everything perfect from the start (or ever for that matter!). Everyone has an awkward moment once in awhile. Keep things light in the bedroom and if you say something that comes out super silly laugh it off. By laughing at your own mistakes you show your man he can laugh at his. Laugh together at things that didn’t turn out exactly how you thought. Learn from your mistakes you’ve made. Listen to your guy’s feedback and desires.
And finally continue to love your spouse through it all, remembering that at the heart of great sex is two people’s love for each other.
Do you have any tips, questions, or suggestions on how to talk dirty? Please write them in the comments below!